I have been told I will have many callings. In our church those usually mean jobs that we do for free. The running joke for me is I never only have one calling and I can't keep my callings for longer than a year. (although right now I've been in 2 of my callings for a year and a half!! My 3rd one was just an assignment :)) Regardless it's interesting these callings we have.
We have more than just the free jobs we are given in the church. A few years ago one of my callings was full-time student at BYU. Two of my favorite callings are ones I will continue to carry into the eternities, that of wife and mother. These two sacred callings are the ones I have been pondering. A few weeks ago my husband was called as bishop which would give me the title of bishops wife. What does that even mean? I don't know. There isn't any scripture on how to be a decent bishops wife, in fact there is no handbook, no general conference talk, I can't even find an obscure remark by an apostle on the subject. Although you will find an article or two about a wife of a bishop who decided to pen some advice. Well I can't give you that--I've only been in this role for a couple of weeks!!
The only thing I can tell you is the sacred calling of wife is just that a sacred calling. Satan is working his best to destroy all that is good, sacred, and reverent. First and foremost is that calling that we should hold dear to our hearts, that we should not take lightly, that we should learn to fulfill. You can google the many ways to fulfill that calling. That's not what I was pondering, I was trying to figure out how to not feel lost in such a heavy calling. Sometimes I feel like those teenagers who have just graduated from high school, will start college in the fall, but want to take the summer off to 'find' themselves. As a wife I try desperately to 'find' myself. To not feel lost in this calling and just being Dave's wife, but to be Jennie, the wife of Dave, who now happens to be a bishop!
I came across a scripture the other day that put this in perspective. Matthew10:39, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." To me this pointed out, hey if you throw yourself into a life of serving and service, including serving your husband, you will eventually find Jennie, the wife of Dave. The Lord will mold the talents, attributes, and values that I need to succeed, or accomplish the work the Lord has sent me--Jennie, here to do. Now I know this is what I should be doing, but it's hard and I'm selfish. Why should I serve him all the time? I want to go read a book for a few hours!! And yet, that isn't quite Heavenly Father's plan, is it?
So as I am trying to find myself, I am losing myself in being a better wife to Dave. In essence a better bishops wife (again whatever that means!!). Always diligently striving to serve better, to do better, to be better. And that is really all the Lord is asking!